Sunday, November 10, 2013

Fleeting smiles and lavender silhouettes

She puts on her mother’s dress. It hangs off her small frame, the straps falling off her shoulders but she doesn't seem to notice. She puts curlers in her hair and red lipstick on her lips, accidentally smearing it across her right cheek. She ties the clasp of the pearl necklace around her neck. Exactly like a grown up. Exactly like her mother. She looks in the mirror and smiles.

Her mother looks in from the doorway. Her clothes flung around the room, expensive dresses strewn across the floor. Her makeup scattered all over the dressing table. And she looks at the child smiling at herself in the mirror. She feels something pull at her heart.

Stop. Don’t. Stay a child. Don’t grow up. Don’t have your heart broken. Don’t face life. Just curl up in your bed and pull the covers over your head. Stay there for as long as you can. Believe that you’ll be safe there. Believe I’ll protect you- from anything and everything. Know that you’ll be safe there and know that I’ll do whatever I can to keep it that way.  There’s nothing good for you over here. So just stay.

She opens her mouth to speak. To say all the words she wants to. She wants to run to the child and take her in her arms and keep her there forever, where she’ll be safe. Where she’ll be able to protect her. She clasps her hands in front of her heart to quell the ache. And she straightens up. There’s no time for weakness.

“Clean up the room.”

And she watches the smile disappear.

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